The folly of New Year’s resolutions

If you’re like most Americans, you spent some time coming up with resolutions to kick off 2016. And you’ve already failed at them. Whoops!

Now sure, you might be telling yourself that you haven’t failed, exactly, not yet anyway, that you’re going to get right back on them and everything will be fine. Just like every year, right?

But don’t despair. Let me tell you why it’s not your fault. Continue reading

The Winter of My Discontent

As you may recall, my first run-in with snow left me a bit out of sorts. That was just a prelude though, as things recently got much more severe.

Last week, the temperatures plummeted and we had a day of non-stop snow. Unlike the first snowfall, this time it never got back above freezing until this past Tuesday, so the snow is still sticking around. Two days in a row I woke up to temperatures of -9 degrees. That’s not a wind chill; that’s the temperature straight up. It raises a lot of questions, such as why people ever settled in climates like this, what sort of supposedly kind and loving God would allow for weather like this, and how do you have negative degrees? Do you owe degrees to someone? Like, Satan? I imagine he has a lot of extra degrees because of the hellfire and whatnot. Continue reading

This Is Snow Joke

It snowed last night.

This is in Denver. I am from Florida. I have never lived in snow before. Before now, snow was like crime, something that only happened to other people.

I have visited snow before, spending some time in Boston on trips during February, and one crazy week in Minnesota around New Year’s, where the snow was probably two feet deep. But those trips were like visiting a prison. It was weird and scary, but you have guides to keep you safe and in short time you leave and it is gone forever. Now I live in that prison. We are all victims of the consequences of our choices. Continue reading