Point/Counterpoint: “Lemonade”

Lemonade is the Beyonce album that dropped out of nowhere and made the nation lose its collective mind.

While there was praise for the music and appreciation of the visual elements, people also heavily discussed what the music meant. It seemed clear that Beyonce had created an album about her husband Jay-Z cheating on her.

Now word is coming out that it was all a hoaxthe whole story was a fiction.

This causing an outcry, and even a division within our offices. So only we here at Soft-Core Sophistry are up to the task of breaking it down.

This is Point/Counterpoint.

Point: Wait, didn’t we already do this?

Counterpoint: That was about actual lemonade. This is different.

This is about Beyonce and Jay-Z scamming the American people.

Point: It’s not a scam. It’s an album. It doesn’t have to be real, just like a novel doesn’t have to be real. Fiction is just that, fiction.

Counterpoint: It’s about the presentation. Everyone understands that fiction exists. Taylor Swift obviously doesn’t shake anything off, because she makes an album every time she breaks up with someone. We understand that. But we still accept her songs as the catchy nonsense they are.

But when you present it as truth, that’s what makes it a scam. That’s why everyone got so pissed about James Frey and his “autobiographical” A Million Little Pieces.

Point: They never presented it as truth though. Beyonce put out an album with a storyline in it. Jay-Z even appeared in it! It was the audience that tried to read into everything and find clues in the story that tied to real life.


Everybody was Tom Hanks with a bad haircut, and just as nonsensical.

Counterpoint: That’s when it became a problem. Everyone was outing different Becky’s with the good hair, causing those women strife and hardship, and Beyonce and Jay-Z just sat there counting their money, not disputing a word of it.

Point: It’s not their fault their fans are gullible. And that is a lot of money to count. They didn’t have time for much of anything else.

Look everyone can interpret these things differently. That’s how art works. People find insane theories behind everything with little to no supporting evidence, and oftentimes lots of evidence to the contrary. Some people even think Pinky was the smart one, and Brain was the insane one.

Counterpoint: Okay, that’s insane.

Point: So just because some people read into things and go off on their own tangents doesn’t change the meaning of the original work.

Counterpoint: I mean, in the episode they spend most of the time on, Brain answered all the other Jeopardy!-style questions correctly and just missed a pop culture question. His intelligence was very thoroughly shown there, rather than the opposite.

Point: Right. Anyway, Piers Morgan being upset because Beyonce is being political and prefers the “old Beyonce” doesn’t mean she is being “too political” (whatever that means) and that by not addressing it she’s endorsing it.

Counterpoint: And the reason he couldn’t write his name clearly is because he was in a giant robot–that he built–designed to pass for human, not to have fine motor control. Those pens are hard to use to write on screens anyway! I can’t make my signature when I’m signing after using my credit card, and I’m in my own body that I’ve had my whole life.

Point: …yeah. Wanna get back on track here, buddy?

Counterpoint: Right, yes, okay, I’m good. We’ll finish that later.

So Piers Morgan, we can all agree, shouldn’t have a voice in this. It’s ridiculous that people are taking anything seriously about Lemonade from someone even older and whiter than us.

Point: Fatter, too.


The face of incisive hip hop criticism.

Counterpoint: But just because Piers Morgan doesn’t agree with… views that he doesn’t agree with… doesn’t mean that all reactions to the album are equally invalid. Fans who bought in to the music were taken in by a hoax. People who are looking to Beyonce as a leader, as someone they can look up to, could be led astray if they’re looking for advice on how to handle a cheating husband. She’s providing an idea on how to react to a situation when she hasn’t been there.

Point: It’s not her responsibility to be a leader on this topic. That’s a personal situation. But beyond that, she doesn’t have to go through the experience to have ideas on it.

Counterpoint: The way people without kids are just THE BEST at giving parenting advice?

Point: No. Nothing like that. Those people are the worst. But Alex Haley didn’t have to live through slavery to write Roots and the world is a better place for his doing so. Being cheated on is something that wouldn’t have had to happen with Jay-Z for it affect her. Even if it didn’t happen to her directly, she could have seen it happen to a loved one. And she could have her own thoughts about it.

Counterpoint: But no one thought Alex Haley was depicting a true story of his struggles with slavery. Beyonce, intentionally or not, represented a reality separate from what was true. Some sort of clarification would be nice.

Point: It’s music! Let it mean to you whatever you want it to mean! That’s the beauty of art. It touches people in different ways. What part needs clarification?

Counterpoint: You know. The part where she said the things. The things that weren’t true? But that people thought were true?

Point: Hang on. You didn’t listen to it?

Counterpoint: Come on, man. There’s like so much music coming out all the time. I can’t keep up on it all.

Point: But you agreed to do this! We’re having an argument about an album you haven’t even listened to?

Counterpoint:All right, smart guy, what was your favorite song?

Point: Do I even need to answer that?

Counterpoint: Stop Googling.

Point: I just, need a reminder, about the song name?

Counterpoint: I can’t believe we just did this. We just wasted everybody’s time.

Point: That is sort of our mission statement.

Counterpoint: So anyway, Brain gets right to the brink of world domination every single time before a small thing stops him. You have to be a genius to get even that far!

Point: Yeah, it’s a dumb theory. Brain is always the one opening their cage, he figures out complex engineering, he’s clearly the smart one. Some people just need to be contrary.

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