The 5 hidden benefits of a Carnival cruise

Carnival Cruise Lines was started in the early 1970s with the aim of bringing recreational cruises to the average person after it having been the domain of only the rich.

I recently took a cruise on the Carnival Ecstasy, and let me tell you: they have reached their goal.

In fact, there are so many benefits to the Carnival approach that were unexpected, I felt a need to walk you through all of the ones I noticed.

1. Setting the Standards Early.

As soon as we walked onto the ship, we were greeted with a smell that could best be described as “sewagey”. By not having us walk on to a pleasant (or even neutral) aroma, the cruise let us know right away what we’d be in store for, so later on when the smell pervaded, we wouldn’t be surprised in a way that would make us disappointed. In fact, it helped get us used to the smell so it wasn’t as bad later on.

It wasn’t gone completely though. There were times when that stench was just overwhelming. They did the best they could to prepare us for it though, and that was a nice touch.

2. Making You Feel Better About Yourself.

The clientele on a Carnival cruise is exactly what they were going for: the average person. That helps make Carnival the Wal-Mart of the Seas. If you are worried about your physique and how you’ll look at the pool or hot tub, this is the cruise for you. There will definitely be someone in worse shape than you.

I took this picture on the last day

I took this picture of a fellow guest on the last day

3. Not Tempting You to Overindulge.

One of the main selling points of a cruise for a lot of people is the constant buffet of delicious food. Carnival knows better than to tempt people to push themselves beyond a reasonable limit. Instead, they serve incredibly mediocre food, with the buffets closing for most of the trip. The best strategy is to get a little bit of lots of things and try to find the best thing. But because the buffets are closed so much, when they’re open the lines are long, which further discourages you from getting more of whatever might be okay.

4. Encouraging You to Get Out and Enjoy Yourself.

Some people might be tempted to just relax in their room with some peace and quiet. Carnival sees that as a waste–you can do that at home! You just paid them a rather significant amount of money to be on their floating E. coli outbreak, so you should be out there taking advantage of their offerings.

Thus the state rooms are adequate at best. Our king sized bed was, in truth, two twin beds pushed together, so there was an uncomfortable ridge right in the middle. They also seemed to be constructed quickly from a slab of rock of some kind. This not only encourages you to get out and have fun, but also to take advantage of the spa services on board! Because your back is going to hurt.

The bathroom is also basically a closet with a shower that is just large enough to fit in (this is not guaranteed for all guests). I guess this is to encourage people to enjoy the pool. I can’t recommend going in the pool.

5. Getting You Drunk.

The drinks are strong, they have high-quality liquor, and the bartenders know how to make a variety of tasty beverages. This was a good experience.

Thank God.

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