Punching Our Way to Success

It’s happened to all of us. You see someone and you just want to punch them in the face.

You don’t have to know the person or have any reason to want to do that, except they just have a very punchable face.

Sometimes there are other reasons too.

Sometimes there are other reasons too.

Now science is letting us in on an interesting fact. It turns out everyone has a punchable face.

Though some are obviously more punchable than others.

Though some are obviously more punchable than others.

As long as you were only thinking about punching men. Please only consider punching men. They are the ones with the scientifically proven punchable faces.

The theory is that men fought so much during the evolutionary process–for the same reasons they fight now, for territory and women–the bones that were the most frequently broken toughened up. It led to what basically amounts to biological face armor.

It means that if you ever see someone you want to punch in the face, you should go for it! That’s what their face is designed for.

It seems so obvious in retrospect.

It seems so obvious in retrospect.

But don’t worry that your punch will be ineffective against these battle-hardened skulls. Your hand also evolved in order to punch really well.

The scientists who are basically professional voyeurs noticed our closes simian relations, chimpanzees and bonobos, don’t form fists. When they close their hands, they curl their fingers so they form a donut shape.

Of course, our hands are used for a lot more than punching, as all of our pets without opposable thumbs have jealously noticed. They also need to be used for delicate dextrous tasks.

Such as flipping off Bono.

Such as flipping off Bono.

However, researchers have found there are a number of different proportions in the hand that work for increased object manipulation. They have not found another one that works for fist-based punching, and think humans might have the only hand proportion that allows it to take place.

Congratulations, humanity, for seemingly punching our way to optimal hand evolution. Who knows what else we could punch our way to?

I don't know. But I know where we can start.

I don’t know. But I do know where we can start.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Punching Our Way to Success

Improve this nonsense by leaving a comment of your own

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s