Game of Bros

I enjoy the story in A Song of Ice and Fire (the book series on which the show Game of Thrones is based), but the writing makes me roll my eyes at times. George R.R. Martin has phrases and tones he loves to repeat. The one that probably irks me the most is ‘sweet sister’ which is the go-to term for Jaime and Tyrion to refer to Cersei.

It made me start wondering what a good analog would be for them to refer to each other, back when they were all one big happy family, so books one and two, or the first two seasons of the TV show.

The rules: it has to be alliterative, and it has to be ironic (even Jaime would struggle to find a way to describe Cersei in a way that would cast her as sweet) while sounding complimentary on its face.

Just a couple of bros, chilling.

Just a couple of bros, chilling.

Some ideas I had:

Bold Brother — Not sarcastic enough. Both are bold, in their own ways. Also, I feel like bold brothers might be a term used elsewhere in the books. Brave brothers certainly is (another phrase not sarcastic enough for use here).

Benevolent Brother — This would work, but it’s too long. Plus, it’s not like either of the brothers is crazy violent. Simply meeting them in the street is unlikely to be hazardous to your health. Not enough sarcasm.

Bodacious Brother — Too long and too slangy, though the part of me that will never stop loving 1980s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon wishes it were in the books. That does not roll off the tongue at all. (Though I don’t think ‘sweet sister’ does at all either. Just typing it out annoys me all the more.)

Big-Time Brother — Both too casual and inappropriate. Anything with ‘big’ in it would be obviously cruel toward Tyrion, rather than lightly mocking such as calling Cersei sweet.

Boss Brother — Much too weird. And perhaps even more slangy than ‘bodacious’.

Bright Brother — This could be our winner, though Tyrion is actually smart, so it’s not quite dripping with sarcasm the way the references to their sister would be. But he is regarded darkly, since he’s a dwarf and was never regarded kindly by his father. It works much better for Jaime though, since he wears cloaks of gold or white as part of the Kingsguard, yet is known mostly as the Kingslayer for breaking his oath.

Noble Brother — This kinda sorta works. There’s some alliteration in there, with the middle ‘b’ in ‘noble’. And while the Lannisters are high-born as part of their family, they both have rather ignoble pasts. Jaime, again, is regarded widely only as the Kingslayer, while Tyrion is a dwarf and hated for it, while spending most of his time drinking and whoring and spending as much money as is able.

What say you, radical readers?

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