What’s up, doc?

Sometimes science is magical. Sometimes science is terrifying.

Sometimes it is both at the same time. This is one of those times.

According to research I just made up, heart disease will affect 120% of all Americans. It is statistically likely to kill you, rob you of your valuables, and steal your guy or girl. Or both!

Scientists, as a result, have long sought to combat heart disease, either by preventing issues before they happen, such as making ridiculous recommendations like “stop eating so much bacon,” or by fixing things after they go wrong, like installing pacemakers to keep your faulty ticker ticking.

Researchers have now made incredible advancements in pacemaker technology by developing a mesh that surrounds the heart to keep it going. They’ve shown its effectiveness in a rabbit.

Did I say *in* a rabbit? My mistake!

Did I say *in* a rabbit? My mistake!

Yes, that’s a rabbit heart without the rabbit, just beating away as happily as could be.

It's probably best not to think about where the blood is going.

It’s probably best not to think about where the blood is going to or coming from.

That thing can keep the heart beating effectively forever. You want to know where zombies come from? Let’s start with a heart that never stops beating, no matter what happens to the rest of the body.

Those electronic looking doodads on it are more than just decorations so people know it’s SCIENCE. Those can monitor the heart and react in case of trouble, such as a heart attack or arrhythmia, so nature is going to have to put in real effort to kill you.

There’s more information about how it’s made using scans and 3D printers and whatever. That article also has a ten-second video, but it looks just like the looping gif, because the beat stays perfect.

LOOK AT IT

LOOK AT IT. NEVER STOP.

So yes. There’s a perfectly functioning rabbit heart, without the rabbit.

In 10-15 years, that could be your heart. Your heart will no longer need you. Your heart will live forever, while your feeble mind falters and disintegrates.

Thanks, science.

Thanks, science.

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