Unified Theory of Fish

Earlier today, a Canadian I know let it slip that residents in the Great White North will often occupy themselves by hitting a block of ice with a fish for upwards of six hours at a time. That led another non-Canadian to comment on the lack of a point of that, as the only surprise or entertainment would be derived from the fish spontaneously coming back to life. Of course, I had to set him right that it would be no surprise at all.

Since it seems my theory (and it is a “theory” in only the same way gravity, evolution, or magic is a theory) was not widely known, let me elucidate my charming readers, who I am sure are smart enough to know this already. Nonetheless, it needs to be stored on the internet, so perhaps future societies can benefit. Continue reading

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