Friends, and if you are reading this I feel confident we are friends, I have a shocking and disturbing revelation for you. There is a group in our midst that is overlooked, suffering abuses at the hands of those who would show them off merely for amusement, who shackle them and make them a spectacle, even forcing them to consort with children. It is time to protect this group.
That is why I am starting a new movement: People for the Ethical Treatment of Balloon Animals.
These peaceful creatures can be found anywhere someone of ill repute is looking to make a quick buck, from carnivals and fairs to street-side “zoos” and even street corners. Sometimes their handlers even go so far as to dress as clowns, adding an air of frivolity to the abuse.
Balloon animals are marvelous creatures. They have a natural affinity for contorting into amazing shapes. They come in all manner of fanciful color. They can resemble nearly anything, from those images we see on a regular basis to those we thought resided only in our imaginations. Yet despite their prodigious talents, they possess a relaxed and carefree nature, often content to laze, moved only by the stirrings of a breeze.
Yet balloon animals are frequently forced into the hands of overactive children and driven into unfamiliar and dangerous environments. For all the power possessed by our rubbery friends, they are vulnerable to sharp objects and grating surfaces. Yet that is exactly where they are most likely to be found in captivity, where poorly constructed carnival games and busy roadways can annihilate their majestic bodies.
I ask you to stand with me as we fight for the rights balloon animals cannot fight for on their own. It will be a difficult path we follow. Petitions will need signatures, protests will need volunteers, and random acts of violence may need sacrifices. But this is all for a better tomorrow, so that one day our children may know a world without wanton disregard for the safety and care of the greatest gift this planet has to offer us. Join me, friends, and do no less than save the world.
Join PETBA, or we will not be responsible for the consequences.