Do you know anyone named Victor? Chances are you don’t. If you do, chances are very good he’s a terrible writer.

How do I know this? How have a I peeled away the veils of your life to see the hidden truth about your friendship, or lack thereof, with people named Victor?

Simple. Once again, I know the truth so few do.

FACT: All Victors who are capable of writing even moderately well are kidnapped and forced into slave labor.
FACT: You are familiar with their work.
FACT: They have composed the world’s history books.

Pictured: a barely literate Victor who seems foolishly depressed that he was not drafted into the history book slave trade.

If you find any books purporting to be about history and they are not written by someone named Victor, then they are historical fiction or just guesswork, like you’d find by Harry Turtledove or Howard Zinn.

Fun game! Read history textbooks and try to find their hidden calls for help!

It’s more obvious than usual on this page.